‘Tis The Season…..

…. to keep your clothes on, please. Especially if they’re a nice flannel that belongs to your sister. Take a few pictures of yourself in the mirror. Laugh a lot.

Be happy with who you are, because whoever you are, whatever you’re doing (which probably isn’t much at a quarter after one in the morning) you are awesome!

It’s the holidays, guys, live up to it! This time only comes once every darn twelve months, so there’s nothing for it but to have fun.

Do lots of baking!

Or if you’re a man, make sure you keep up a good image of yourself. Take a nap or something. (I am in no way at all meaning to offend anyone out there. I promise.)

Or forget any decent sleep and get those creative juices flowing! I’ve heard about some campaign that dares you to not buy one single thing that says “made in China” on it, and I’m all for that! But hey, why not just take a step (or ten…) further and forgo buying anything that says “made in” at all! Here’s an epiphany for you… Make it yourself.

*gasp!*

Get out there and spray paint yourself some sexy Steampunk pants! Seriously! Do slightly crazy things. If you love something, don’t ever, ever, ever let someone else’s opinion stop you from doing it. Even if it’s buying elf ears off the internet and wearing them around the house. (Just try convincing people that you’re not a complete nerd that should belong in some sort of LARPing community…)

I can tell you from personal experience, that IT. IS. WORTH. IT.

Every bit of it.

I should probably clarify that I wasn’t talking about the elf ears when I said that inspirational bit there. I was just, you know, speaking in general.

Yeah…

But HEY! It’s Christmas! Probably the best time of the year! Not only is it a time of Festivus miracles, but it’s just that time of year that reminds us of that one story.

You know which one I’m talking about. You know, the one with all the angels singing? And the wee little baby born in the stable? What a great story. I mean really, that’s got to be one of the most inspirational, dramatic, beautiful stories ever written into the dust of this earth.

So let’s go celebrate this beautiful story by hanging strange little things from a dead tree propped up in our house.

That sounds negative, but it’s not. I’ve just always gotten a kick out of Christmas trees. But I love them. I promise.

But right now I have a warm, sleeping Terrence trying to lay on my typing hands, so I should probably go to sleep.

Plus I might shouldn’t be blogging at one thirty in the morning.

May blessings of all shapes, sizes, and weights fall upon your little heads in the swiftly ensuing season!

Love, A

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Why I Hate Technology (Or, To Be More Specific, My Cellular Device)

Normally, I am somewhat a fan of technology. I like how texting means I don’t have to make an actual phone call. I like how the “like” button on Facebook means I don’t have to actually say anything about what I’m “liking”. I like how my Netbook works for fifteen hours even when it’s unplugged. I like how modern toilets mean that… well, let’s just say I like how convenient they make things.
Lately however, and several times before, this (see below) little guy has basically been the bane of my existence. Or, to avoid blatant exaggeration, the cause of soap in my eye. Literally.

In the past, my little cellular device here has sometimes decided to give me troubles, such as not receiving texts for example. Actually… that’s the only thing it’s done wrong, basically. (I need to work on not exaggerating) Anyways, it’s had spells where it worked perfectly fine, except for texts. People would text me (crazy, right??) and the text would just never show up! I might get it five hours later, or twenty-five hours later, I never knew.
But! It snapped out of that after a little while, and lately I haven’t had any trouble with it (except for when it’s fully charged, and dies after one little phone call).

Today, however, was a bit of an exception. Here’s what happened…

I was in the shower this morning (well, it probably wasn’t exactly morning if we’re going to be technical, but that doesn’t matter), because I needed a shower. My little phone was sitting on the towel shelf. I usually bring my phone with me so I can see how long I take in the shower. It was just sitting there quietly, and then a few minutes into my shower I heard it go off. It was on vibrate, but it’s vibrates really loudly (especially on wood) so I could hear it really well. I just figured, “oh, someone must have texted me. Probably Jamie or a cousin or something.”

So I went on washing my hair or whatever I was doing…

Couple minutes later, it went off again. And I thought to myself, “huh. Probably the same person. They must want me to answer or something.”

And then it went off a THIRD time. By now, I may or may not have been a little concerned. “Maybe it’s actually important? Or maybe it’s three different people… Or maybe it’s someone I haven’t talked to in like six months and they only have a few minutes to text and they really want me to answer them before they have to stop or before they get caught or something???”

So I decided to hurry. I had just finished washing my face with my goat’s milk soap (which is my least favorite part of showering, because I’m always afraid that I’ll get soap in my eyes -which I hate- or that when my eyes are closed while I’m rinsing the soap off my face that really scary clown from the end of this >>>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucF0p3fN5DY<<&lt; video will stick his face into the shower, scaring my crapless and possibly killing me [true story- don’t mock me]), and as I went on to soaping up my arms and shoulders something horrible happened. I was looking down, watching what I was doing of course, and I accidentally threw a bunch of soap suds straight into my eyeball. With my own hand.

(That’s my soap, closest to the camera)

So then I had soap in my eye. My right eye. (which is my dominant one, by the way) And I was trying really hard not to cry because it hurt, but also trying really hard not to sort of scream with laughter because it was so funny even though it hurt, and I was trying to wash it out, and my eye was trying to stay shut even though it was burning and burning…

AND. During all of this, my phone vibrated twice more out on the shelf. TWICE.

So I pried my eye open, sort of rinsed the soap out, shaved my pits or whatever, and ended up cutting my shower short by about ten-fifteen minutes and not shaving my legs. (which really isn’t that big of a deal because no one’s going to be seeing them anyways)

So I got out of the shower and checked my phone.

And… lo and behold… it was DEAD.
I turned it back on, (it will live for just a few seconds more right after it dies) only to find out that there were no texts. Not a one.

And then I realized the awful truth. I had gotten soap in my eye, and not gotten to shave my legs, and cut ten blessed minutes off of my shower time, because my phone decided to vibrate five times (instead of the usual ONE) to tell me that the battery was low. And that it was dying.

I love my phone.

But actually what I REALLY love, is my soap.

(Yay for product placement!)

And I love having clean hair.

So the moral of the story, kids, is don’t rely on your cell phone! It will make you get soap in your eye, it will make you lose valuable shower time, it will DIE. Maybe someday it will be out of style. Clean hair, however, will never be out of style. So shower on, children, shower on.

Peace.

Al

P.S. Oh… And I guess I love this little thing…

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